In the week following Mummy's death. Kyla and I were drawn towards Fairfield Park one sunny day. We knew we would feel sadness, and yet, like a magnet drawing us in, we felt the need to go there. This was a favourite location for Mummy and Daddy to visit for an outing over the past year - a haven away from the bustle of Life and everything that it had thrown at Mummy. They would take their foldout chairs and enjoy the peaceful quiet of the lake, nearby where we used to sail together as a family. I have a lovely memory last summer of going out there with my 3 boys, Kyla, Mummy and Daddy once we were back from the Philippines. We young 'uns went swimming into Lake Ontario and amazingly it was pleasantly warm. I remember Nyonya and Grandpa watching us splash about in the water, throwing the football back and forth endlessly, and it had the semblance of normalacy... On this day in April, however, our normal had changed forever. No longer would we be able to laugh and smile with Nyonya, no longer would be hear her lovely voice and admire her elegant long fingers. Her physical presence had gone... and all I felt was deep, despairing Emptiness. I longed to see her, to hear her voice, to look over and share a little smile with her. Philosophically I know that she will always be with us, but that doesn't take away the ache I have right now to have her her physically - to be able to reach out and lovingly touch her arm or hug her. She is my Everything... I simply can't imagine life without her.