The global pandemic has brought many hardships to many people all over the world. The impact has been vast, the effects felt in many ways and the feeling of loss great. No greater loss was felt than the sad passing of Auntie Pat in March 2020 and dear Uncle Neill in March 2021. The shocking news reached family in Kingston, Oakville, Auckland and Delhi via email, and the impact felt was immediate... the flood of tears and with it, the wave of happy memories that have touched our lives. Tragically, the CoVid pandemic effect has been widespread, preventing us attending Auntie Pat's funeral, preventing us from attending Ian's graduation in Cairo and a subsequent proposed stopover visit to Uncle Neill in Aberdeen... and the final blow one year later, being unable to travel for his funeral in April 2021.

      The McGraths collectively put their thoughts on paper to contribute a speech that would be shared at the ceremony in Aberdeen, attended by immediate family. Here is the heart of our message:

On Neill and the McGraths

It was Gerald’s privilege and pleasure to have met Neill in December 1955 when he was a dental student at Liverpool University. It was serendipity at its best. Gerald was collected from his house in Cheshire by the father of a college friend. He told Gerald he had to make another stop in Liverpool en route to his home and the Christmas party his son would hold there. At this intermediate stop Gerald was invited in and met Neill and his parents, Roddy and Teasie. The reason for the slight delay was that Neill’s sister, Joan, was completing dressing for the party at which she would be another guest. Little did Gerald know then that Joan would become his future bride, and Neill his future brother-in-law, both as central elements of his life.

Though Joan and Gerald were to spend three years in East Africa after their marriage in 1959, keeping in touch with Neill and seeing him when they were home on leave were essential. We watched with admiration as Neill returned to university as a medical student so that he could complement his dental knowledge and experience, including National Service in the RAF as a dental officer. We were also close observers and strong supporters of his growing relationship with Patricia which led to their marriage in 1964.

After trans-Atlantic flights from Canada which from 1962 had become their home, Euan, Kyla and Ilana spent many summers in Kingussie with Teasie, known to them as Granny. It was not long before they were joined by Angus and Duncan. From these experiences as youngsters were borne the close relationships which we believe characterise our two families. As Kyla has put it, both of our beloved parents played a strong part in creating the bonds between us five cousins, bonds which have withstood the passage of time and the thousands of miles which separate us. Auntie Pat organized Hallam Grange with a military precision which left Kyla in awe of her organizational skills: bedding, beds, food, activities and entertainment. Nothing in all of that great effort put a hair of hers out of place. Uncle Neill, with ever a twinkle in his eye, a gentle smile, that raised, inquisitive eyebrow as he leaned in to hear what you were saying, generous and loving, welcomed and embraced the invasion. He loved family; the hours of cine we never tired of watching, the weeks and months he devoted to creating the family history on DVDs in his retirement. A special feature of the Christmas Day family gathering was Neill’s unique skills in organising Christmas games. Ilana recalls the infamous “Hidden Objects Game”, which particularly highlighted Neill’s masterful hiding abilities of everyday objects and his almost devilish grin on his face as the young ones hunted high and low. They pleaded with him for hints, which was inevitably greeted with a deadpan expression and silence until they heard the signal word, “Right!’ as he clapped his hands, then rubbed them together in anticipation of the grand revealing!

Neill was the consummate dental professional as Euan can attest in one of his many wonderful memories of Uncle Neill. He was returning to Canada from a gap year. He was in his early twenties, and it had long been identified by the Canadian family dentist that he would have to have his four wisdom teeth taken out. Since he was travelling through the UK, his Mum thought it would be a wonderful idea to stay with Uncle Neill and family and have Neill schedule him for surgery. Upon arriving in Aberdeen, he was warmly welcomed at the airport and whisked back to Hallam Grange to a magnificent dinner, long on laughter and reminiscing about our many shared family occasions. What happened over the next week or so however opened his eyes to a different side of Uncle Neill.

Euan admits the first time under  general anesthetic was a wee bit nerve-racking. Uncle Neill put him completely at ease. He was so calm and reassuring. His matter of fact confidence removed any anxiety he had. He was amazing. The last thing Euan remembers was being told to count backward from 100. The next he knew was waking with a sore jaw, but the sun streaming into the room and Uncle Neill welcoming him with a warm smile. It seems to be a theme, as Ilana equally recalls the masterful extraction of her four wisdom teeth, and the huge sigh of relief from Neill upon successful completion, noting that he had “never been so nervous treating a patient as he had for the gentle care of his niece”!

Euan was planning to visit Granny in Kingussie before returning to Canada. Uncle Neill regularly visited her, so the timing was perfect. They left early in the morning and took the slow route over the beautiful Scottish hills through Tomintoul. The country drive was breath-taking. Weaving along the narrow roads provided them both a wonderful opportunity to get to know each other better. Neill spoke about his youth, growing up with Euan’s Mum in Liverpool and Kingussie, his Asian travels during his National Service, his university studies and wonderful life in Aberdeen. He spoke of his love of cricket and his new passion of golf. He enthusiastically spoke about his first book on the golf swing. Euan in turn described his year of travel and dreams for the future. The drive flew by. Their free-flowing conversation weaved in and out. It was an amazing journey which they both thoroughly enjoyed. Euan will always remember it and his dear Uncle Neill.

During the 80s, Ilana did her three month practicum for her teaching degree in Kingussie, and she recalls spending Easter weekend in Aberdeen before heading to the south of France to visit a friend. Neill was keen to play the gracious host, and zoomed her all over the place, visiting downtown for some shopping, a castle or two, a walk on his beloved golf course and yummy fish and chips at the beach. She remembers the ease and warmth in their interaction. The sun was brilliant that weekend, and he was really chuffed when he heard on the radio that Aberdeen had the highest temperature in all of continental Europe that day, even beating the French Riviera!

Joan often talked about the Tapestry of Life, interwoven with the many threads of life’s interactions and experiences. The very fibre of the McGrath’s existence is bound with the memories of happy, family-knit times spent with our beautiful Neill and Pat. At Joan’s Celebration of Life, Neill so eloquently concluded his speech saying that she had found her “...end of the rainbow...her Pot of Gold...” . Rainbows are said to be a connection to the spiritual world, often signifying growth and new beginnings. To continue the analogy, we McGraths indeed found our “pot of gold” in the shimmering Love and Connectedness that Neill and Pat nourished and grew over the years, blossoming into new beginnings with the next generation of cousins. On this day, we have now indeed caught sight of a glorious double rainbow in the sky signifying the beautiful reunion of the Kerr clan – Roddie, Teasie, wee Hamish, Joan and Neill. May the ceilidh in the sky begin!

Neill, we owe you so much for your unfailing friendship, humour, support, courtesy and hospitality over the years. You are missed, sorely, and will continue to be missed by the McGraths.